A Hundred Ideas For Sale.

A minuscule while ago, I couldn’t sleep; I started picturing Barbie dolls pressed in glitter on canvas, I thought about buying paint, making things etc… and soon enough I was listing things…So what began life as a list of Art pieces I could attempt, has now developed into a hundred random ideas, some possible, some frankly impossible.

As I was finishing this list, I thought some of the random ideas would even make pretty decent story titles. Writing is a form of exploration. So if there’s any particular title for a story, art piece or project that appeals to you…let me know?

Maybe I’ll do it.

Maybe we could do it.

Maybe not.


  1. Melted Barbie Doll, covered in glitter and pressed into a canvas while warm.
  2. Venus Flytrap, inside a honey lined picture frame. 
  3. Presidential podium on a Segway. 
  4. Painting made using Human tears.
  5. Donald Trump depicted as a liberal, transgender vegan. 
  6. Entire day recorded using a GoPro. 
  7. Nazi Chicken Coop.
  8. Comparison chart of how much dictators sleep/slept. 
  9. List of failed Art pieces. 
  10. Suit made of spaghetti. 
  11. Collection of liver scan videos. 
  12. All the remaining ashes of the photos I burned of myself as a baby. 
  13. Sweetcorn fritter on a wire. 
  14. Clanger in a cage. 
  15. Sausage made of Vegans.
  16. Five-pound note made entirely of meat. 
  17. Aquarium full of sea-monkeys. 
  18. Brain scan of an ice-cream headache. 
  19. January Christmas party. 
  20. Opposite day. 
  21. Trampoline made of crumpets. 
  22. Buddhist bullets. 
  23. Calpol in a syringe. 
  24. Spaghetti hoop swimming pool. 
  25. Whetus fetus. 
  26. Serial killer cereal. 
  27. Coins made of meat.
  28. An office block for hamsters. 
  29. All Cat rap group. 
  30. Kimchi lipgloss. 
  31. Potato band playing Neu!
  32. Eminem made of M&M’s. 
  33. Magnetic sculpture of Jesus. 
  34. Kentucky Fried Barbie (KFB)
  35. Sperm bank statement. 
  36. Celebrity sperm for sale. 
  37. Lawyer for your hair. 
  38. Kurt Cobain action figure. 
  39. Gyoza Bra. 
  40. Prime Ministers questioning time. 
  41. UKIP Hijab. 
  42. Brighton Rock band. 
  43. Sisyphus as a Dung Beetle. 
  44. Case for baskets. 
  45. Heavy words written on balloons.
  46. Drunken Tamagotchis. 
  47. Supine singing competition. 
  48. Cheerleaders of the apocalypse.
  49. Bambi with a gun. 
  50. Acne filled with diamonds. 
  51. Intoxicating holy water. 
  52. Male Geisha.
  53. Nail varnish for truckers. 
  54. Fish with feelings. 
  55. Morning wine. 
  56. Swearwords for the blind. 
  57. Golden cardboard box.
  58. Kimchi Ice Cubes.
  59. The American Dream. 
  60. Vegan Slaughterhouse. 
  61. Assassin Christian Band.
  62. Candles made of blood.
  63. Polaroids of modern dinners. 
  64. Children dressed as old people. 
  65. Candy anti-depressants. 
  66. Cornflakes made of actual gold. 
  67. Flavoured Snot. 
  68. Fluffy Chains
  69. Celebrity Ouija Board. 
  70. A Laptop Turtleneck. 
  71. Blackened Bonsai Trees. 
  72. Photographs of a Night Out: Before/After.
  73. Memories of suffering. 
  74. Anti-Art Exhibitions. 
  75. Aloof Priests. 
  76. An emergency feeling.
  77. Iceland Food Cafe.
  78. Tinder for Sheep.
  79. Fairgrounds for Cats.
  80. New money for new rope.
  81. Bagels made of Bengals. 
  82. Fears of Death in Poetry.
  83. Kentucky Fried Disappointment.
  84. The Benefit of Distance.
  85. Homme Fatale.
  86. A Sober Artist. 
  87. The Excitement of Evil. 
  88. Listless Creativity. 
  89. A Beautiful Motorway. 
  90. Flavoured Wallpaper. 
  91. Celebratory Death 
  92. Classy Vegas. 
  93. Theme songs for everybody. 
  94. Pyramids to commemorate slaves.
  95. Elvis in the building. 
  96. Sycophantic bucket shakers. 
  97. Enjoying silence. 
  98. Somebody modest. 
  99. Experimental Advertising. 
  100. The Bitter End.  


Thank-You for Ignoring This.


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